Anger is a feeling that everyone experiences all over the world. It stems from feeling out of place and being angry at one's circumstances in life. It's something that can also be difficult to control, especially when your emotions are pushed to the brink. Anger seems to be more common in those with Asperger's than the "average" person. Part of the problem is the fact that those with Asperger's are conflicted between the fact that they long for social interaction but are unable to be social or properly communicate with others in certain ways. They struggle with their anger as a result of confusion and frustration. The feeling of anger often becomes overwhelming, and can sometimes result with the individual trowing a tantrum the same way a child would. Those with Asperger's have difficulties when interpreting the meaning and intent behind someone's words and actions. This leads to a series of challenging social interactions, which tires and frustrates the individual. In order for someone to help an individual with Asperger's calm down, they would need to understand what's going on inside the individual or try to relate to them. Trying to help them calm down in a stressful situation and making them understand that their feelings are okay are both very helpful methods. I find that the way people to react to them when their angry really makes a difference. If someone raises their voice at the individual, then it won't work and they'll end up being even more angry. Yelling never helps. Now, if someone was to speak to them in a calm, collected and understanding voice and gives them a hug, sometimes this diffuses the situation. The way a person reacts to them has a lot of influence on how they feel and react to whatever is bothering them at the moment. It's also good to help the individual understand that their situation really isn't the end of the world, even when it seems like it is to them. Sometimes you just have to walk out the room to calm yourself down, since it may be difficult to be calm. Even changing the subject entirely may help and distract the individual from being upset. Teaching someone with Asperger's how to communicate is something that happens gradually instead of very quickly. Patience is key. Often times, those with Asperger's bottle up their feelings and when they express their anger, they go from "0-60" in seconds. It's helpful for them to find a healthy way to express their anger and let out all of their negative feelings. Activities such as walking, biking, using a punching bag, playing music, creating art, writing poetry, and ranting to a friend are all many helpful and beneficial ways to help someone with Asperger's "let go" of their anger and allow for them to calm down. As a person with Asperger's gets older, they will begin to mature and become more wise, and even deal with the way they handle their anger around others. This is something I've noticed among my older friends (they're in their upper 20's) who have Aspergers. Anger is not something one can really overcome, but it's definitely something that can get easier to deal with in time.
1 comment:
This is an excellent blog post Marti. Anger is one of those feelings that many folks, even those without disabilities, have a hard time controlling. But it is a major aspect of Asperger's. You've covered it well. You've also taught us about an actual tool that those with this disability can use to learn alternate behaviors / coping skills. (like the video too)
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